Pleasure/Pain hits again!

After such a stressful couple of weeks, and whilst I was feeling really low, I applied for free tickets for Wicked in the West End. Unbelievably, on Wednesday last week I received an email to say that I had been issued with 4 free tickets to go and see the show! Both Elena and Boots adore the show, and as we were going to be in Glastonbury at the weekend, we arranged to go to see our families for a couple of days after Glastonbury and to then get the train down to London on Monday.

We have all had an amazing few days. I can’t describe how wonderful it is seeing the children’s faces when they watch the show, or when they get to see our families. I absolutely adore visiting London, I feel so alive and there really is no time to think about anything morose or depressing. We went to Camden on Tuesday, which was amazing. It is so brilliant for me in London. It is so easy to find vegan food, even raw vegan food, so I can enjoy myself, forget about my problems and still be healthy! The only down side to it is the cost of hotels. We managed to get a hotel for £79, which I don’t think is too bad for four of us, and we also managed to eat quite cheaply. It only cost us £20 on the train, so the whole time only cost us around £100. I couldn’t believe it when I got the Wicked tickets, they were some of the best seats in the house and worth £400! I have to put up with a lot of crap around my diagnosis, so at least I can get something beneficial out of it all. The charity which gave me the tickets is called ‘Ellies Friends’, and they give away freebies to people with a cancer diagnosis. It is through them that Andy and I went to see Alan Carr Chatty Man. Going to see shows doesn’t take away the stress of our lives, but for the time we are there it actually makes us forget all the shit.


So, back only a matter of hours and I  am feeling down again. However, unlike in the past, I am not going to give in to the feeling. I am determined I am going to take back some power and make the necessary changes I need to make in my life. I need to be busy and independent. I also need to live nearer to civilisation, so although I know it will be stressful, I am going to arrange to view lots of houses in lots of different areas and make a move soon. Of course, stress will be involved, as well as upheaval for us and the children, but I think teaching the children that change is a good thing will be beneficial to them. I also know that they will be much happier if they are not in the car all the time, and if they get to see our families on a much more regular basis.


I am due to go for the ultrasound on my neck on Tuesday, following the great big mess-up of my scan. Instead of getting stressed about the result I am going to take it with a pinch of salt, and just use the result as a baseline for future ultrasounds. I have decided to put CT scans on hold for the foreseeable future, as I honestly believe that the stress they cause to my family and myself is counter-productive. Instead, I am going to just get on with my life and am no longer going to allow this disease to take over my whole life.

Well that’s the plan anyway!



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