Bloody F*****g Hospitals…!!

Yes, that’s how I am feeling today after my brief trip to the hospital yesterday! I was doing just fine until I stepped over the threshold of that awful place! It was only an appointment for a ‘chat’ about how I was doing, but it has left me feeling bloody suicidal (and that is not something I mention lightly!) My oncologist was ‘nice’ enough, but it was they way she said things and the way she looked at me and basically her whole tone. I said I would like to have my port removed as I have no intention of ever having any more chemo, even if things progress. Her reaction? ‘We will have that conversation WHEN and if that time comes’.

The first thing she asked me was if I had had any issues with pain, and when I said no she looked almost disappointed! Andy reckons this is because she can’t get her head around me still feeling well when I am not having chemo. He may be right. She asked me about scans and I decided I would get Christmas and my birthday out of the way before I have to contend with that little treat. ‘Do you want me to tell you the results over the phone, good or BAD?’ she replied. As you can tell, I am just hearing the NEGATIVE words she is saying, but that is what happens when you are in my situation.

The whole bloody experience has sent me plummeting, feeling negative, depressed, worrying and every other negative emotion you can think of. I am questioning stuff I never usually question and can’t make any decisions about anything, however small.

Andy said to me last night whilst having to listen to all my shit, ‘I don;t think you should go back to the hospital again’, and do you know what? I think he’s right! The only problem with that is that if I don’t know what’s happening I won’t know when I need to ‘step things up a gear’. The only option I can think of is to go private (which is totally against all my principles), except apparently I would still have to go to THAT place to have it done. I’ve also considered medical Thermal Imaging, but that won’t be comparable with my CT scans. When I mentioned it to my oncologist she said ‘they haven’t been tested as being reliable’. Oh, surprise surprise, something the hospital isn’t doing obviously isn’t reliable…never heard that little nugget before!

I’ll go back to bed now, have a cry, scream into my pillow and then hopefully wake up tomorrow with it all feeling like a distant memory..Well I can hope can’t I?


Heartless Scammers……..Medical marajuana

big cannabis marijuana plant detail

As most people are now aware, cannabis oil has been shown to be very effective in the fight against cancer, which is great, except it’s not is it? It is illegal, even for medical use. This leaves people who have cancer, or whose children have cancer, at the mercy of scammers, promising they can provide you with the real thing, when actually a lot of the time it is nothing of the sort.

There are two very important issues here. Firstly, how anyone can stoop so low to take advantage of chronically ill people, and secondly, why good people looking for a cure are made to be put in this situation. I have first hand recent experience of a scammer,  and just a cursory look on google and it becomes obvious that  this is widespread. People with terminally ill children are shelling out thousands of pounds in the desperate hope that they are buying the proper oil, when most of the time it is sub-standard or fake. I believe, however, that the far more important aspect of this debate is why people are forced into illegal activities to get hold of the medicine that may well cure them.

There are many examples of people curing themselves of stage 4 cancer with cannabis oil, and I have also heard of many medical professionals who also see the huge benefits of cannabis oil.

One example of a patient curing brain cancer with cannabis oil…

Cannabis use for medical reasons is either de-criminalised or legal in many countries and some American states, so isn’t it about time that this happened in the UK? You would think so.

Whatever your opinion is on the use of recreational drugs, the fact is that cannabis oil has cured many people, including children, so next time you hear someone say that medical marijuana shouldn’t be legal, maybe tell them the implications of such an opinion.

My stance is that cannabis should be legal for personal use, irrespective if it is used for medical reasons. Alcohol is a legal drug which quite often can lead to aggression, illness, crime and death. It is certainly responsible for the break up of many families also. In contrast, there has never been a reported death as a result of using cannabis. The Government is saying that you can have a very harmful drug legally, but you cannot have one which causes no harm, and can alleviate pain and cure chronic disease!! I even read a statistic that claims that people who smoke cannabis live an average of six years longer than those who don’t..

A point I often hear, especially from the older generation, is that cannabis is a gateway drug to harder drugs. I don’t believe this to be the case. Most people I have met over the course of my life have smoked cannabis at some time and yet I don’t know a single heroin addict. Plus, if cannabis is thought to be a gateway drug, then why not alcohol?

The whole situation makes me so angry. The situation at the moment means that if I grew cannabis and gave it to people who have cancer, or whose children have cancer, I would be deemed to be a drug dealer, a threat to society, and would be sent to prison. Absolute bloody madness!!